You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
