"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
