I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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