that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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