so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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