You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
