I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
