So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
