whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
