If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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