Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
