If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
