one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
