I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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