Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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