My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
