It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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