I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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