Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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