Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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