it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
