So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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