Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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