a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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