if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
