Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's always time for handjobs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
