oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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