Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
