I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
