just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
