A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
