good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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