he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
