Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize