So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
