I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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