So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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