remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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