I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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