winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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