Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it's not cheating when I paid for it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
