The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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