I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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