I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
