So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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