I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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