i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize