super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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