Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
