I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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