I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
