I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
