you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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