well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
