Girls should come with a carfax report
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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