TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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