her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There was a lot of him and a little penis
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
