who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
