Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
