1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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