haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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