This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize