Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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