can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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