I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize