He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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