3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She is in my trunk
it wasn't lemon gatorade
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
