anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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