you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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