I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
