And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
