Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
