Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
