Since when is my name a synonym for head?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
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