Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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