dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
