break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
