If i come over, it means nothing
did you get engaged???
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
